Labour saving devices.

I have thought long and hard in the past about the devices invented to free the modern woman so she can spend less time in the kitchen and more time making herself beautiful for her husband's return from work, and how the roles of these devices themselves have changed over the last few years.

For instance-

Washing machines: invented so that washing your family clothing, bedding etc transformed from a back breaking all day tub-a-scrub-a-thon to a convenient switch-a-button-on activity. Beautiful. However, I find that the washing machine serves best as an improvised laundry basket for dirty clothes, being as the other three are full (two with clean washing, one with dirty washing- I'm not that scummy!)

Ironing boards: convenient for hanging your wet jeans on to dry out.

Ovens: temperature controlled, spacious and no more woodsmoke. Also ideal for hiding the 3 days worth of washing up in when "visitors" (mother) pop in unannounced. It's bad enough being in your pyjamas at 3pm, they don't need to see the mouldy plates as well.

Disposable nappies: no more soaking, washing, soaking and washing again for you, lady! Throw the troublesome terry cloth timewasters in the bin, and get yourself some 'sposies. Great for doubling up as mahusive breast pads for those leaky first few weeks. The amount of soap powder and water you use to clean the darn Terry things off cancels out the environmental advantage, so I've been told...

Cars: not only save your legs and your back from trekking by foot or pony for long distances, but also double as handy extra storage for bulk buys of non perishables, such as 2l bottles of diet coke, BOGOF washing powder, boxes of nappies and "spare" sets of clothes for your very own Royal Highness. Just be careful on the fuel consumption...

Tumble drier: extra useful as the 40 minute setting will blow the creases out of about 6 items of clothing if your jeans are still soaking the ironing board through. And Hollyoaks is on.