Secrets and Lies...

We all have our little secrets, and we all tell lies. I was thinking about this the other day and my train of thought led to how my rather shady past has shaped the way I behave with other people.

One result of said shadiness is that I am an extremely good liar. Scarily good. I can manufacture something plausible within nano seconds; and I have no problem with that. Should it worry me? Don't get me wrong, I'm not chucking lies out left, right and centre- I'm not a compulsive liar or a sociopath. I only lie when it's absolutely necessary. If you ask me if your bum looks big in those trousers, and they do, I'll tell you; don't worry about that, it's just that sometimes you need something a bit more... substantial to back yourself up.

I think it's absolutely natural to lie. It's an effective form of self preservation, and we've all told the odd porkie pie now and then (haven't we?). I think the problem is when it moves from something along the lines of "These? I have these shoes for ages sweetie," to "I don't know why we're £1500 overdrawn.... Maybe the bank made a mistake."

Guidelines for effective porkie pie detection.

1. Body language- people think it's easy with the face touching and all that jazz, but watch for the shoulder shrug. Both shoulders indicate a genuine lack of knowledge. One shoulder shrugging might be a clue to a concealement or a lie.
2. Feet- they generally point in the direction they want to go. Towards the door indicates the person is uncomfortable and wants to leave asap, but in meeting/general interactions if they're faced towards you, it's because you're interesting and worth paying attention to.
3. Eyes- People believe that looking away from someone indicates they are lying. Not necessarily. People tend to look away when they are trying to remember something, but only for a second. The real alarm bell is if they are staring at you intently (trying not to look away therefore believing they are appearing as if they are telling the truth) or constantly looking away from you (shame...)
4. Accuracy- If someone can tell a story without making even one mistake; that smacks of rehearsal. A genuine story/statement over about 2 minutes long would usually have 1/2 slip-ups in it, ie: times, dates etc.

However, people are all different and some indicators don't always stick out. The better you know the person, the more likely it is you'll spot their porkie pies... If you really want to, that is.